My rating system is as follows:
Five gnomes – Since my main focus will be on Horror and Sci-fi, classic movies like “A Bucket of Blood” or “Crack in the World” would fit nicely here. Must see!
Four gnomes – Intriguing. It may have spotty acting, or dialogue problems but the premise makes up for it. Maybe there’s a nice twist or something truly interesting that makes it all worthwhile. Go for it.
Three gnomes – Fun. If you’ve got an hour and a half to kill – why not? The acting may be a little stiff, and the dialogue a little forced, but it’s acceptable. The story is decently told, and it’s free. Why not?
Two gnomes – This is my equivalent of “A” for effort. The budget is so low as to be barely there, the acting is really bad, the script could use some work, but gosh darn it, they got the money and people together, and gave it their best shot. So what the plot went off the rails and made no damn sense? They made a movie – good for them! That may sound glib, but it’s not. I can’t fault folks for taking a risk. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t. View at your own risk.
One gnome – Unsurprisingly, a lot of vanity projects end up here. If a movie gets this rating, it’s cringe-worthy and painfully unwatchable. Everything about it is just awful. The only reason I sit through these is because I’m a masochist with an obsessive need to finish what I start. Just because I sat through it, doesn’t mean you have to. Save yourself.