Fractional – 1 gnome

Fractional (2011) 1hr 33min, horror

“A psychiatrist, John Hatchett, wakes up tied to a chair in an abandoned warehouse. Left with no food, water or chance of escape, John’s only weapons are his mind and he must use them to full effect.”

This is one of those movies that have potential but end up falling flat. The acting wasn’t as bad as you’d expect from a 1 gnome rating, but the plot just meandered, as a result there was absolutely no tension, just a sense of are we there yet? Written, directed and produced by the same guy, the movie would have been better served as a short. The first ten minutes and the last ten minutes was pretty much all I needed to see, that would have made it a solid 3 gnomes, but as it stands, 1 gnome is all it deserves.

This guy is kidnapped and tied to a chair. We find out that he isn’t who he says he is. So who is he? Is he a spy? Something juicy? No, just some schmoe psychiatrist who had an affair and whose wife died under mysterious circumstances. The guy “torturing” him turns out to be a former patient that he had committed because he was a lunatic. So is all this payback of some sort? The reason was murky at best. I say “torturing” because our lunatic made a big show of the many torture implements at his disposal – none of which he used. I suppose they were going for a “psychological torture” angle, but it was weak. So, we have a lunatic mental patient who kidnaps and ties his former psychiatrist to a chair in a warehouse and beats and threatens to torture him. Why? That’s the kicker, revenge was hinted at, as was the questionable character of the psychiatrist.  It also could have been because the dude was a lunatic – any and all of those reasons were thrown out, but none really stuck. Throughout all of this, there was no sense of urgency. No ticking clock, it was all empty threats.

During the climax of the movie, it is revealed that our lunatic has kidnapped our victim’s wife – who turns out to be the woman he had an affair with before his wife died – and gives our victim the choice of who will die, him or his wife. Of course he chooses himself. After he is killed, the wife plants one on the lunatic – they were lovers all along! A whole hour and a half to find out this is all some twisted love triangle? Good lord. Save yourself and don’t bother with this mess of a movie.

If you’re hell bent on torturing yourself, you can find it on Amazon here: Fractional


Drive-in Horrorshow – 3 gnomes

Drive-In Horrorshow (2009) 1hr 48min, horror

“Do you like blood; gore? Are you into cutting; slashing? Is cannibalism more your speed? Or maybe monsters; evil children get you going? Whatever your ghoulish pleasure, we have a tale for you. In the tradition of Creepshow; Tales from the Crypt, DRIVE-IN HORRORSHOW features five terrifying tales of horror.”

I have a great love of anthology movies and as advertised, this fun, campy collection of stories can sit alongside the classics.  This could have easily been made in the 80’s, the feel and atmosphere is spot-on. The effects are cheesy as hell, the connecting story of a post-apocalyptic drive-in is silly, and I loved every minute! The acting is spotty and at times cringe-worthy but that’s actually part of the fun. There’s a little bit of everythig here: the results of a date-rape, a possible bio-engineered virus gone wrong, and my favorite Daddy is a serial killer!

You can watch it on Amazon: Drive-In Horror Show